I can't believe this is happening to me all over again. Well, the fact is it is... and I am the only one who is responsible this time over as well.
No matter how much I want to get into the blame game, I know that I got into this with my eyes, ears and mind all open. There was one person who coaxed me into this, with the only motive of wanting to see me happy at the end of it all.
For the most, I was happy and, can even continue to be... But then, for how long can I sustain a fantasy? This is a question that I need to answer myself.
I wish I was made for the nicer things in life... I wish I was loved by someone the way I want to be loved... I wish I was the special someone in somebody's life... I wish I did not have to think of all this and say "In my dreams"...
I know I have felt a lot worse, than what I am feeling now, earlier in life. Does this mean I still hope that this may just work? Am I being very impractical? Am I losing my sensibility towards myself? Am I just being plain desperate? Do I know the answers to these questions? Am I playing ignorant?
I think I know but the voice from inside shouts "I DON'T KNOW".
I guess I will let this be for now.
Let me just wait and watch... since the screenplay, script and direction are all being handled elsewhere, and, I am a mere actor in this whole drama called "Life".
