All the world's a stage

I can't believe this is happening to me all over again. Well, the fact is it is... and I am the only one who is responsible this time over as well.

No matter how much I want to get into the blame game, I know that I got into this with my eyes, ears and mind all open. There was one person who coaxed me into this, with the only motive of wanting to see me happy at the end of it all.

For the most, I was happy and, can even continue to be... But then, for how long can I sustain a fantasy? This is a question that I need to answer myself.

I wish I was made for the nicer things in life... I wish I was loved by someone the way I want to be loved... I wish I was the special someone in somebody's life... I wish I did not have to think of all this and say "In my dreams"...

I know I have felt a lot worse, than what I am feeling now, earlier in life. Does this mean I still hope that this may just work? Am I being very impractical? Am I losing my sensibility towards myself? Am I just being plain desperate? Do I know the answers to these questions? Am I playing ignorant?

I think I know but the voice from inside shouts "I DON'T KNOW".

I guess I will let this be for now.

Let me just wait and watch... since the screenplay, script and direction are all being handled elsewhere, and, I am a mere actor in this whole drama called "Life".

Cool stuff - Calvin & Hobbes

"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us."

Why can't I ever build character at a Miami condo or a casino somewhere?

"That's the problem with nature, something's always stinging you or oozing mucous all over you. Let's go and watch TV."

"If we wanted more leisure, we'd invent machines that do things less efficiently."

"I don't need to compromise my principles, because they don't have the slightest bearing on what happens to me anyway."

"I'm learning real skills that I can apply throughout the rest of my life... Procrastinating and rationalizing."

"A good compromise leaves everyone mad."

"I suppose if we couldn't laugh at things that don't make sense, we couldn't react to a lot of life."

"I'm just very selective about the reality I choose to accept. "

My mom!!

The past two days have been really tiring for me since I was down with fever and was feeling sick to the stomach. Went back home after staying for just an hour in office and slept all day and all night getting up only to eat something. Was completely taken care of and did absolutely nothing really, and all this only because I am blessed with the kind of mother I have. The only thing I actually did in the past two days was ask for stuff and I got it handed to me at the craziest hour of the day or night and thinking about it that has been pretty much how I have been brought up all through my life. At just two years less than thirty I still have the luxury of not doing anything except going to work daily and back home. That's just about what I do in terms of work.

I have always completely admired my mom and thought she is this super woman who can do anything for us (my sisters and I). There are so many times when I cannot get to terms with the fact that she is growing old and may not have the kind of energy and stamina as she did when we were kids if you will. I still get upset about the last minute things I cannot find and she finds them for me, inspite of being clueless about where I may have kept them; my casual appreciation about some kind of food gets my mom to make that for me just the following weekend; she accompanies me to the craziest of movies just because I want to see it and she does everything for me even if she is really unwell or feeling tired. In all my life I can count the number of times she has really been upset about her children not helping her and now when I think of it, those were only the times when she was not able to do things for us the way she meant to.

She is one person who will never feel burdened by our demands and always feels she can do better for her kids. A little appreciation from any one of us about things she does for us, which we give her rarely makes her day and appreciation from others about her kids is something that increases her confidence and keeps her going. One may think that a mom's job is really easy since it just takes bringing up kids and taking care of the family, but maybe not. Thirty years down the line I am not sure if I will have the stamina and will to work as hard as she does, constantly, day in and day out, since mom's don't get a vacation really.

She is just one woman who is so special and can never get a replacement, no matter what, and I pray that she is with me forever.

Diwali, SRK and SLB

It was certainly one of the most awaited weekends for movie buffs and even the rest of the world (read Indians). Two of the most hyped and awaited movies released on 9th Nov, 07 Om Shanti Om and Saawariya. The former worth its hype and the latter surviving only 'cos of the hype.

OSO was a complete joy ride and a good break from the stereo type movies. Nothing original about it, but every scene kept you completely involved. SRK was at his usual best and Shreyas and SRK were excellent together. The dialogues in the movie were excellent and Kiron Kher did a swell job in her role as the 70's mother. The whole concept of aspiring actors of the 70's was brought out with superior originality, the sets, make up, people and everything was very 70's in nature, one would find it difficult to believe that these people were actually from another era in reality. The aura of filmdom oozes out of every character, big dreams, aspirations and faith that they will make it BIG someday, living everyday only with the hope of becoming a super star. That is what you see in the first half of the film, with Deepika being this dreamy Girl (Hema Malini basically) 'Shanti Priya' who SRK 'OmPrakash Makhija' is completely in love with. The movie opens with the Om Shanti Om song shoot from Karz where SRK and Farah Khan are seen in the audience cheering to Rishi Kapoor's performance (taken from the actual movie). Om is this extra artiste who is completely in love with Shantipriya the super star. he saves her in one of the fire scenes during a shooting hence they become friends. Shanti is secretly married to Arjun, the producer of the movie Om Shanti Om in the film. He is the villain in the movie who kills her for his own goals of making it big (she gets pregnant and he does not find her useful to be the heroine) etc. Again in the course of saving her both Om and Shanti die and Om is reborn to Rajesh Kumar the successful superstar. The latter half of the movie is the revenge part on the lines of Karz. Though the story line of the movie has been repeated multiple times over the years, there is a fresh look to the movie and it keep the audience charged right till the end. This was a feast for movie goers.

Coming to Saawariya, it is a story told by Rani (a prostitute) like she sees it in her dreams. So basically a fantasy of a real happening is narrated to us. In a 'blue city' arrives this young lad who is a singer in a bar in a locality where there are prostitutes and their likes. He meets Rani who helps him find a place to stay (Zohra Sehgal is the land lady whose dead son was an army officer). He reminds her of her son and there are a few very cute scenes with Ranbeer and Zohra. On the streets of this 'blue city' he finds 'Sakina' running through thee streets late at night and falls in love with her 'Love at first sight' et al... There is a song followed by a few dialogues and in a few we get to know that she is already in love with Salman Khan who was a paying guest at her place (she lives with her blind aunt and a care taker) and is waiting for him to retun on Id. Inspite of knowing this Ranbir still hopes that she will come to him and forget this lover guy. So basically nothing much happens and the movie drags on with a few songs here and there, Sonam keeps giggling unnecessarily with a lack of genuinity. Towards the end even the audience thinks that Ranbir and Sonam will stay together, however that soon is proved wrong with Salman Khan returning in the last scene of the movie and Sonam going back to him and dumping Ranbit at the bat of an eyelid. At the end of the movie one wonders why SLB made a movie with such a weak story line, further when two young actors are introduced in a film the audience wants to see them together rather than apart. The promos of the movie misled the audience to believe that it was a love stroy between Ranbir and Sonam and it was completely difficult to digest anything otherwise. The movie got its audience only because OSO was showing to full houses and people who came to the multiplexes did not want to return home without watching a movie. It was a wasted effort for Ranbir Kapoor who definetely showed the potential to be a good actor and Sonam had no role really in the movie in terms of dialogues etc. to prove her acting capabilities. She looked good and so did he.

Well so much for the Diwali weekend...